The shortest letter of them all.

So, it’s been a year.

I looked at my face skin turning slightly grey.

Lord, I’ve lost all the color, the vibrance, thank you alliance. I’m ageing in hours, I can start crying with no reason, sobbing pas rationnel, feeling so weak and so powerless.

Good if your business’s skyrocketing and arising, good if you have all your loved ones, if you’re healthy, if you’re alive!

But today I woke up very drained, very tired. It’s all sad. All miserable, it’s all sour.

I’ve spent days alone, I’ve been wondering, worrying, idiotically idling, expecting, and waiting.

I’ve been water-coloring!

And I’m sorry, yes, perhaps it’s my bad and my fault, it all could be way worse.

But honestly.

I can’t anymore.

I can’t anymore with this happening. Stuck with restrictions and boundaries never-ending, media full of their mental health counseling articles.

Meditate, keep on breathing, count your steps, count your calories, read, educate, sleep, and repeat. Eat your greens, drink the water, stay away from your friends, and your family.

But can you tell me for real does it really (really!) matter?

I sweat under my mask scrolling just to see sunny Instagram reels! Filtered browny legs in Tulum, and Cancun, baby blue Maldives, Spanish Islands.

It’s all way too much for you and for me.

There is sun after rain and love after pain.

And if I could, if I could just give you the answer. If I could prescribe you some hope, some trust, and some happiness. If I could make you laugh, make you rock, make you sparkle.

Also! Oh, baby, also!

I almost forgot!

Fuck you all aggressive loud-thinkers, Facebook-conspiracy intellectuals, because you know what?

You don’t help either. You don’t help in any fucking way.

Any. Fucking. Way.

You just talk.

And that’s funny.

But nobody cares anymore if you’re right.

Nobody cares if I’m wrong, I’m just thankful for us staying strong.

I’m thankful for the doctors and their unlimited, endless hours.

Because I knew at once.

That those were the only hours that paid off it all.

Soon.

Soon, I promise we’ll be hugging our loved ones.

Loves to discuss, being right and (sometimes) being proven wrong.